emo-ness

today probably is the 1st time after abandoning my blog for a couple of months. Many many things has changed and also many new things has added into my routine. Der is gud and bad things happened in that couple of months too. And also der is sumtg i have been believing for so long but now i realized im getting tired of it. slowly, i feel like giving up is my best choice rather than being stupid for my whole life. i shall change the way i have been believing. Im tired! im really is. Certain ppl would think that i might have gone mad but slowing down d pace and look back what i have done would be gud. ppl says 'Der is a 'fire' in every1 soul on earth, once it extinguish, it wud be dead forever'. I shall regard that the fire in me has extinigushed. i have no longer believe what i have believed for the past. i hate to be in d past! i hate myself in d past! i hate! i hateeeeee!!!

the first pizza i ate..

Hey to my fellow frenz and hello to my readers. Today will my third day and also the last day in rome and after that im heading to the next destination which is still unknown to me but anyhow im juz gonna roughly by-pass wat i’ve done for the past two days. The 1st day itself wasn’t a pleasant day though but i still consider i enjoyed the rest of the day. After touched down at the aiport in italy namely ‘dotdot davinci’ airport(not too sure wat the name is), i was extremely tired and exhausted due to the time difference between italy and malaysia. The time in italy was 5 in the morning. I was kinda wondering why do we have to take 10 hrs flight since our technology has kept on improving everyday. Wat the heck?! I curse the long hour flight. Well, after collecting all our luggages, we checked out and proceed to the main entrance. Juz right after we came out from the custom, an old man walked towards us and asked “deu u ned shuttle bos?’. OMGosh, we juz came out from the airport!! WHY cant u juz leave us alone??! Owh well, finally he succesfully conned us. At the airport, he said “ five pearson eightee five euro”. Upon reaching the hotel which is our destination, he said “hundred and twenty euro”. Why? “the luggage nid a seat too’’. AND the funniest thing was the luggages seating is more expensive than we humans. We got two luggages only. Anyway we paid him 100 euros and ask him to ‘shoo’.

So we checked ourselves in and the journey begins...

After unpacking, we left the hotel and decided to walk around the city. The 1st place we decided to visit was the sistine chapel and the st. Peter church. The place require us to take metro train in order to get there. When we reached der..guess wat happened?!!! The ticketing machine was all italian words and we couldn’t understand at all how to buy. The worst thing wasn’t this but when we approached to to the counter and ask for tix. My dad asked ‘how can we buy tix to get to this place??’ ‘#@$@$@#$’ haha.. dey cant speak inglish!!! Wat on earth that european country can’t even speak english. ==.. so we decided to find out ourselves. God bless us and we finally found out how to use the machine. I guess we are not spending wat we actually needed for the tix. Hahaha. On the way walking from the railway to the sistine chapel, i ate my 1st pizza in italy and dat was awesome!! I love the crunchy base of the pizzas and the pizza was gigantic. Haha. i was bloated. Sumhow we spent almost the whole day in the sistine chapel and st. Peter church. The sculptures and statues are magnificent. Der were too much of dem. But things get alil boring when too much of alike statues although der are different sstory for each one of dem. Haha. i guess dats the end of day one but probably der are more interesting occasion but i juz couldn’t tells it all here. Maybe u would wanna ask me personally.

Day two which mean yesterday has nothing much to talk about. We visited the colloseo and places around. Not too sure wat’s the other places call but i guess is juz greeks buildings, statues, etc. Although i have not try out the beer here now but i m sure im gonna like it if i were to try. I juz love dat taste. We have tried out a white wine which is quite gud in taste and dat cost 18 euros!! Alright i think dats all for today. Cheers and gudnite. I was thinking of her every secs and every mins in rome here. Is she? Maybe a lil? maybe not..

Okla...cao cao.

written on the 5th dec

i'm serious.

it's been real tension and hectic for the past 2 days. well, finally i will be off for italy dis thursday night. maybe dis shud be d time for me to look back and think wat i've done dis years and relax my mind. besides, this trip could also be an indicator to test that whether 'we' have the possibility being together. although im gonna miss her much but one sided love will nvr work things out. i have been hearing lots of stories abt her from frenz and i think it shouldn't affect my decisions. i know i wont give up now but if things aren't getting right next year and maybe she gets annoyed..i shall let her be wat she was to be. i have no idea wat she is thinking right now but as i always say let it flow naturally. it will hurt if the final result is not wat i wish but at least i could tell myself i have tried my best.

hmm...i think dats all for 2day! be happy! thx to hanhan's quote. :)

too bored.

1. This survey gets a little personal, can you handle?
ofcoz..

2. If u married the last person you texted, what would ur last name be?
my last name la.==

3. Were you happy when you woke up today?
okok la..

4. When were you on the phone last? And with who?
with my primary skul's fren, mingyi

5. What is the last thing someone bought you?
dunno..lol

6. What’s something that can always make you feel better?
i guess music..

7. What are you excited for?
not much in my life.

8. What were you doing yesterday?
eat sleep on9 went for a gathering.

9. Honestly, who was the last person to tell you they love you?
forgot.

10. What's the last thing you put in your mouth?
my finger.

11. Have a best friend?
yes..

12. Are you scared to fall in love?
absolutely.im afraid.

13. Do you think teenagers can be in love?
let it flow naturally.

14. Last person you wanted to punch in the face?
der is but name shall remains unclear.

15. What time is it right this second?
10.19 a.m

16. What do you want right now?
cut my hair

17. Who was the last person you took a picture with?
my primary skul's frenz

18. Do you consider yourself as a loyal person?
im if im deep in love.

19. When was the last time you cried?
forgot la..breaking up time gua.

20. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
so so la.

21. Do you find it hard to trust others?
yes..

22. How fast does your mind change
im versatile.

23. I bet you miss somebody right now.
yes!

24. Can you honestly say you're okay right now?
im not actually.

25. Why do you think so many people cheat?
to cover sumtg.?

26. Tell me what's on your mind.
a girl.

27. What are you looking forward to in the next 3 months?
italy. christmas.

28. Have you ever worn the opposite sex's clothing?
eww..no!

29. When did you last talk to your number 1 top friend?
many weeks ago.

30. When is your next road trip?
??

31. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell anything to?
yes..but sumtimes she will get annoyed.haha.

32. How's your heart?
aawesome!

33. Have you ever felt like you weren't important?
sometimes

34. Do you think somebody's in love with you?
i dunno wor.

35. What are you planning on doing after this?
go sunway and cut my hair.

36. When will your next kiss take place?
haha..how wud i know.

37. Have you told anybody you loved them today?
no

38. Who do you not get along with?
??

39. What does your 3rd recent text say?
come on9

40. What are you wearing right now?
t shirt and shortpants

41. Are you wasting your time on the person you like?
i dun think so. when u like a person dats not wasting time.

42. When's the last time you had a grilled cheese?
dunno

43. What's your favorite boy and girl name right now?
*frens
boy, robert; girl, mary

44. How did you feel when you woke up?
sleepy???

45. Do you wish someone would call or text you right now?
yes..but obviously she wont. she doesn't have my number.

46. Do you crack your knuckles?
sumtimes.

47. What were you doing yesterday at midnight?
on9ing.

48. What are your LEGAL initials?
??

49. Who's the first B in your contacts?
account Balance..lol

50. When was the last time you laughed really hard?
ystd night with primary skul's frenz.

51. Your number 1 top friend walks out of your life, do you go after him/her?
i wont if he or she is not willing to. i will sit and wait and pray hard dat one day she/he will kno im true fren of his or her.

52. Last awkward moment?
Dunno..

53. Are you afraid of the dark?
No.. but sumtimes when it gets freaky.

54. Do you have good vision?
yes. always.

55. Have you ever tripped someone?
yes.

56. Have you ever slapped someone?
yes. im sorry.

57. Are you Irish??
No..

58. Do you use chopstick?
Yes.

59. Do you have any scars?
yes. not obvios.

60. Is there someone you will never forgive?
No.. gua.

61. Do you laugh off embarrassing moments?
Yes.. im always doing dat. ==

62. Name the last person to text you?
ming yi.

63. Would you marry someone 8 years older than you?
yes. if im in love wif her.but very rare also la.

64. Can you go in public looking like you do?
??

65. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
everywhere?

66. Is it easy for someone to make you smile?
i laugh not smile.

67. What's the first thing you'll do on your wedding day?
pray hard dat the bride will be der.haha.

68. Do you fall for people easily?
no..

69. Has anyone put their arms around you in the past 5 days?
yes.

70. Do you miss the way things used to be?
no.

71. How often do you hold back from saying what you are thinking?
==i dunno.

72. Song you're thinking of right now?
snow.rhcp.

73. Want someone back in your life?
no.

74. Will tomorrow be better than today?
hopefully.

75. What’s the color of you’re shirt you are wearing?
white.

76. Has anyone ever sung or played music for you personally?
no.

77. Does it bother you when someone lies to you?
yes!!! i hate liars and braggers.

78. Is there anyone who understands your relationship status?
yes. i think every1 do cuz im still single.

79. Are you a naturally happy person? Or is your happiness forced?
wif frenz im happy, when i alone.im sad.haha.

80. Is there anyone you wish would fall in love with you?
Yes but no. i dunno.im juz too afraid. nvm la..neither u nor me can understand.

At elson's hse now.

So yesterday was actually a not so great day but it was okay after all. as usual i will be late for classes every morning but sumtg more shocking happened. elson and fu min weren't in the class when i reached after the chaos happened 2 days ago. for wat it has happened, it shall remain unclear to protect the privacy of one. well, after chemistry, i actually went to elson's hse and had a gud nap. :) lol.Ltr on after lunch, we went to cc and intended to go back lan classes at 2. we actually had a test during the class. sumhow i screwed up the test but it was sad to say i copy my frenz one.haha. yesterday class was rather interesting as the teacher din do much teaching but allowing us to study for the test. i guess if u knoe pm11 well, u would know wat to expect wat we were doing.

after dat, we aka the whole class went to sunway and had dinner at shogun. although it was kinda expensive but the fun of eating together as a class for the 1st time was rather awesome and nice! ms khoo has actually spent 1.2 k to pay for us 1st. she is such a nice teacher and i'm not sure if i will forget her but im sure im gonna miss her after A2 finals. after the dinner, we went for a 'photograph' session but kononnya acting like sum mad posing.haha. As the night still flowing and it was still young, a few of us went for a movie. we watched 'christmas carol' unexpectedly bcuz it was expected to be ninja assassin. anyway interesting movie i see but juz not my type.

around 12 after the movie, bobo sent us back and i decided to stay in elson's hse.:) aww..such a nice guy. we played 'cho dai dee' for awhile and chit chatting. alright..i think dats all for now. wil be back soon. all d best. and sorry to all my high skul's frenz for not attending the bbq. (especially chin, david, thenesh, kok soon, wwk, kar heng, karl, etc)

bye!

==

2day was d 1st day of class after AS finals and also the genting trip. things haven't been changed since last time. the daily classes end at 2 and it was continued with the boring malaysian studies class. it has been a lazy today as most of us has not really enjoy the 'after-exam' atmosphere. Practically we are forced to go back for classes.

i actually realized dat i have half a year more to spend with my current classmates. when i think abt it, my mind has always saddened me and make me so depressed. i have running out of ideas convincing myself dat we gonna meet again after dat. dilemma and confusion has crossed through my brain simultaneosly. i wonder why do we have to go through all dis in my life and it does not happend only for once but everytime. And 2day fu min asked me dat whether i will cry during the last day and i answered no without hesitation but in my heart i was actually feeling the bitterness and the pricking roses pains. i wasn't sure if im emo now but may god bless me.

comeback!

lol..haven't been posting since the last one but im sure i will keep updating for the rest of the days BCUZ my AS exam has finally comes to an end. nevertheless, my class has already organized a trip to genting right after chemistry test over. And today was the day when i came back from the trip and overall it was 'ok'.

Back to the AS finals...for me it was rather harder comparing the previous past years papers. i kinda screwed up 2 papers which is thinking skills paper 2 and physics paper 1 whereas the rest of the papers, i shall comment as average. it's been a hard time for me doing this exam as sum unexpected problems which has always pop up in my peaceful life. i juz wished i could spare the bitterness and painfulness. i wished i wasn't involved in all of this!

well, let's talk abit about the genting trip. there were joy and sad moment in this trip. twevle of us wnt for tis trip. they were hanhan and ailie who was the fun maker for the whole trip, claire and chen hui who always assist the plan which we have made, fu min who always bath(LOL), fong har who has not much of expression and conversations, vnnesh and april the couple, zi cheng the one dat always has his own alternative ways, bobo and jin yuan the gay partner(lol..no offence ya) and ofcoz me the one dat has no contribution the trip. ps ps.

as it was mentioned earlier, the trip has sad and joyful moment. lemme clear out the sad moments 1st. At first during the 1st day i got my eyes infected and fu min had bad headache which cause us unable to join the gang after 10 lidat. during 2nd day, one of our joy maker ailie got bad headache too after the tea cups spin at the outdoor theme park. the third day, fong har unexpectedly got sick too but she was lucky enuf cuz we were already heading back to kl. secondly, the weather in genting were so bad until the outdoor themepark has to be closed down for safety. however, we managed to get sum rides and dat was awesome though. owh yeah..i missed out vjune who joined us at the 1st night. she was noisy at times but the noise has been a joy for us. i appreciate dat vey much. and sorry cuz i din said gudbye to you as i was actually quite sick at tat time.

the most joyful moment for dis trip.. i shall say is during the outdoor themepark activities. i've been enjoying much though. actually the rides wasn't dat scary but to cheer up the atmosphere, i actually yelling for nothing.haha. the best outdoor game for me will be the bumper boating. i find it very interesting controlling the tiny boat. besides there were sum funny yet intersting experience at night. At night when the breeze and coldness struck yr ass, u can never close yr eyes and sleep comfortably. the coldness was like coming up from the toe nail and go through yr organs. it was rather sufferring to sleep den to stay up awake. fortunately, hanhan the smartass suggested an idea which is soaked yr legs in a hot bath. aww...ddat was so nice and warm. at 1st..hanhan den me and claire joined us at 4 in the morning. interesting huh? i guess u will enjoy it if u were me. the only regret in this trip as for me was we din visit the snow world. i was expecting dat but majority said we r not going so i shall accept the people's decision.

overall. i rate this trip 4 out of 5 stars. the one stars i blame the weather and the virus that struck a few of us. photos will be uploaded by my frenz cuz im too lazy to do it here so plz wait. if i have links to the photos. i will post it asap. anw gud nite for now!:)